Thursday, October 28, 2010

Falling apart

Today has been a very strange day. I had a rough night last night, and I didn't sleep well at all. It was nearly 9:00 am before I woke up, which is really late for me. Then, I ended up taking an hour long nap at 2:00 in the afternoon.

I'm just physically and emotionally not doing well at all. I miss my friend. I miss her not only because she was Cindy, but because of what she meant in my life. I don't know if I can explain it, but I'll try. Cindy was a very special friend. If either of us needed anything, we were there for each other. It didn't matter if one of us was going through a rough time, we would put that all aside to help the other. How do you replace that? When I was feeling down, she was there for me. When I needed a friend, she was there for me. I need a friend now, and she isn't here, so I'm not only mourning the loss of Cindy, I'm mourning the loss of a friend. How do you cope when the one who helped you cope is gone? I know I should reach out to my other friends, and I have tried. But, everyone has so much going on in their lives now. Plus, I think people really don't know what to say.

Physically, my symptoms are ramping up again. The leg that was biopsied last year is very weak and painful. I don't remember doing it, but I must have sprained my ankle again. Or, maybe it is just weak because the leg itself is weak. All I know is that I hurt. I had another episode where I didn't have enough energy to take a shower, shave, and shampoo. Also, I had another episode where I ran out of energy after talking. I was so worn out. No one really understands when I try to explain all of this, so I mostly just keep quiet.

Today I haven't done much of anything, which never helps my moods. The house is a mess, and I feel like a sloth! I need to get my rear in gear and get things done. Tomorrow Janis and I are going shopping, plus I'm going to make my famous (HA HA) Chocolate chip pumpkin muffins. We are going to go IU for a football game and to see Aaron on Saturday, so I'll take some to him.

Well, Elmo is throwing up, so duty calls. Bye for now.

No comments:

Post a Comment