Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Today is not a good day

I don't even know where to begin. I will say that this will be a brief (yes, I can be brief) posting. To get to the point, I am not recuperating from the long weekend. Saturday we were at IU for Aaron's graduation. Sunday, we had a baby shower/dinner to attend. It was just too much for me. I am much worse today than I was yesterday. I did make the wise decision not to work yesterday, but I didn't stay home. Instead, I went to the grocery store with Tim. Yes, I am stupid. Then, when Elizabeth came home from school, I'd promised her I'd go with her to the mall. And yes, I am not always very smart. Don't rub it in, ok? We did just run into one store, but still it was too much. I managed to make dinner, then for desert; we had a big serving of teenage drama. I think our Senior is totally stressed out about all of the end of the year stuff that she needs to do. She hasn't been this moody since she was a preteen. The emotional energy I expended dealing with her did not help me physically at all.

So, today I went out with Tim again. Just slap me now. I can never say no to him! I came home and crawled into bed. I thought I'd try working for a few hours, but after only working ten or fifteen minutes I had to stop because I could not stay awake!! So, here I sit. I'm so very weak and in a tremendous amount of pain. My mind is running away from me. I started to wonder if maybe something was wrong with my heart. Maybe it is somehow damaged? I haven't worried like this in a long time. Deep down I think I just have an extreme flare up of all of my illnesses. I was having trouble chewing because my jaw muscles were so weak and painful (that's from the MG). Eating lunch just wore me out. My knee somehow partially dislocated itself over the weekend, and I can't get it back in place. That hurts. Then, my arthritis is causing pain and swelling in both my knees and ankles. My other joints hurt too. I could go on, but I won't.

I am in such a low place emotionally now too. There's so much that I want to do. A woman who goes to our church just had a baby, and some of the women in our prayer group are taking her meals. I so wish I could do something for her. But, honestly, I just cannot do anything right now. I'm upset about that too. I'm going to email our group leader and tell her I can pray for them for now that will be all that I can do. Which brings me to a request, please can you all pray for me? I think it's going to take a while to get through this one. And, I'm just not sure what I'll be able to do now...I may have just dropped below my baseline level of functioning.

Thanks! Shari

2 comments:

  1. Shari, I'm so sorry you are having so much difficulty! All the emotional ups and downs don't make things easier. I hope you find some relief soon.
    Sending prayers and good thoughts your way...

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  2. Don't worry...you are always in my prayers...Hugs dear friend...Love and hugs, Jerelene

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