Most of my friends already know this, but we had to put our little Elmo to sleep yesterday. It was heartbreaking! Poor Tim is just beside himself. Elmo followed him around everywhere. He would sit outside the bathroom door and wait for him; he'd sit right next to Tim on the couch whenever Tim was home. If Tim got up, Elmo got up and followed him. If Tim went out of town, Elmo would wait at the door for him to return. We've all been in tears. He was with us for 13 years! It's strange not to see him in his usual spots, the recliner, the steps (I'd always open the blinds so he could look out the window), next to our bed, on our bed...In the middle of the night, if I got up to go to the bathroom, when I came back he would have crawled up in my spot and put his head on my pillow right next to Tim. I never knew how horrible losing an animal would feel. I know we will heal, but it will take time. We are home so much of the time, and he was always here with us; I think that makes it so much harder. It is unreal.
I think I am living off of adrenaline now. Those of you with chronic illnesses know how adrenaline can keep you going through a crisis. But, there's always a price-a crash. I'm afraid when it hits it will be a big one. I had the physical demands of the party over the weekend, then the emotional demands of losing Elmo. Add that to the lower baseline I've been in since early last month, well, let's just say, I'm scared. Time will tell.
Tomorrow is my birthday. I do not feel like celebrating, but I think a distraction would be great. Tim is getting off of work early, and I guess whatever I want to do he'll do. Going out for an early dinner, then vegging in front of the TV sounds good.
I'm trying to keep myself occupied without being too physical. I've been watching TV, face booking, I worked a few hours, and talked to my sister today.I haven't had too much time to think. I have several new books on my Kindle I could start on too. So, maybe I'll do that.
Thanks in advance for any prayers or good thoughts for my family.